


Dessert Bilbo

by thisislegit



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 15:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisislegit/pseuds/thisislegit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin had had it up to here with halflings and their accidents. Actually, the dwarf king didn’t even want to call them accidents anymore because it was obvious that his burglar was doing these things on purpose. There was no possible way that these events could happen so often within a day, and always just as Thorin walked into the room. If Bilbo wanted his attention like that well he just could’ve asked instead of teasing his husband all day with these improper actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably let you guys know that when I write these sorts of stories it's set in a universe where Erebor has been reclaimed and everyone is alive. Yeah.

It had all started this morning. Bilbo was in one of his moods today so he had begun baking. Thorin sat at the table in their kitchen looking over several parchments dealing with trade down in the markets. He was reading something about the shipments from Dain becoming a bit scarce when he heard a thud and a following groan. Looking towards his hobbit he found him on the ground rubbing the back of his shoulder, but that wasn’t what caught his attention. Ignoring the bowl on it’s side he noticed Bilbo’s face and shirt covered with a thick white froth.

“Are you all right?” he asked his voice coming out a bit strained.

“I’ll be fine, just took a quick spill. My meringue won’t be though,” he said standing.

Bilbo grabbed the bowl, and whisk from the floor and set them into the counter basin. Thorin watched Bilbo sigh and then wipe some of the, what was it meringue, off of his cheek smearing it in the process. Before he could move his hand it managed to drip onto his collar bone and Thorin just barely held back a groan quickly turning to his papers.

 

* * *

 

The second time it happened his troublesome nephews had been involved. Thorin might have snuck away from one of his meetings claiming to need a break. Instead he went to his quarters with a promise to himself that he would make the detour quick. The other council members were tiring, and he could’ve sworn a few of them were falling asleep anyway. When he entered the sitting area of his chambers he found the brothers juggling bottles and Bilbo scolding them. The words seemed to have no effect on his kin so he spoke up.

“Both of you stop this instant!”

Kili fumbled with the bottles he was tossing one clinking when it hit the ground. Fili nearly slipped over onto it trying to catch the bottle flying towards Bilbo’s face. Luckily he managed to catch the butt of the bottle but the momentum made the cork punt out hitting Bilbo in the nose and the cream splashed onto his face. The brothers winced as Bilbo clutched his nose hunching over.

Thorin was over to him in a second laying a hand over one of his trying to coax him up so he could see how bad it was. He heard a light clinking of bottles being set down before footsteps rushed out of the room. He would deal with his nephews later. Right now he was more concerned with his husband.

When Bilbo straightened up and pulled his hands from his face Thorin let out a small choking sound.

“Is it bad?” he asked.

Well technically it wasn’t bad. Bilbo’s nose was red, but not broken. The cream had splashed over his eyelid and all around his mouth. Bilbo wiped the cream surrounding his eye and absentmindedly licked his lips. His cock twitched in his trousers.

“They didn’t manage to spill any of the other bottles did they?” he asked.

Thorin took a quick glance behind him seeing the bottles set in order on one of the smaller tables.

“I believe the only one that spilled was the one Fili dropped.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to have them run and get some more,” Bilbo rubbed his nose as he walked over to collect the cream.

“May I ask what it’s for?”

“I’m making some sweet cakes today and I needed cream,” he said wiping his face with a handkerchief.

“Really?” he said with interest.

“Yes I- wait. Shouldn’t you be in a meeting?”

“It hm ended early.”

A heavy knock resounded through the room and Bilbo gave him a bored look.

“Ended early?” he asked holding the bottles tightly.

Thorin grumbled and left the room finding a very irritated Balin tapping his foot outside the door.

 

* * *

 

The third time it happened was the final straw. Bilbo’s mood apparently lasted all morning and through the afternoon. By the time it was supper they had an entire table filled with all sorts of desserts. Bilbo not wanting the food to go to waste, and Thorin not sure if he could finish the food anyway, invited the company to indulge themselves. The conversation among them hardy and kind. It was rare for everyone to be free, and nearly impossible for them to be free on such short notice, but Bilbo’s desserts could make anything happen.

Speaking of making anything happen, Thorin should’ve known to keep a closer eye on his nephews. He should’ve known that the peace wouldn’t be kept for long. Fili had been the one to shoulder check his brother a bit too hard, and the younger dwarf was vengeful if not brash. Their scuffle turned into a wrestling match. The Ur family, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur, cheering them on along with Dwalin and Nori. One of them managed to hit the tables’ edge too hard, one of the legs breaking and any sweets not taken went flying into the air.

Unfortunately for Bilbo the plate of glazed cinnamon pastries flew right towards him. Thorin wasn’t sure if it was the impact or the shock that caused his burglar to fall on his pert arse, but fall he did. Thorin was at his side in a moment and helping him back onto his feet.

Glaring at his nephews he said, “Take whatever hasn’t been tarnished and leave. I’ll have someone clean up the rest. Dwalin, I trust you to give my nephews proper punishment.”

He could hear his heirs groan, but ignored it in favor of taking a dazed Bilbo through a door further into their chambers. He stripped Bilbo of his shirt and peeled one of the pastries that managed to slip down his collar off of his chest.

Thorin hissed through his teeth as Bilbo tried wiping the stick mess from himself, but only made it worse.

“Looks like I’ll be bathing a bit early tonight,” he jested.

Thorin had had it up to here with halflings and their accidents. Actually, the dwarf king didn’t even want to call them accidents anymore because it was obvious that his burglar was doing these things on purpose. There was no possible way that these events could happen so often within a day, and always just as Thorin walked into the room. If Bilbo wanted his attention like that well he just could’ve asked instead of teasing his husband all day with these improper actions.

Reaching out Thorin grabbed Bilbo by the waist hoisting him up. The hobbit’s hands fumbled for a hold onto his shoulders and his legs wrapped around Thorin’s waist instinctively. Bilbo moaned as he felt a hot tongue drag along his skin through the trails of sugary icing. Thorin began attacking his neck with his lips and tongue sucking the glaze off where ever he could and grinding their hips together.

By the time he was finished Bilbo was rosy cheeked and panting and Thorin’s lips and beard had smidgens of spit and icing.

“Oh you’re getting a bath all right,” he said his voice husky.

Bilbo whimpered before he was tossed onto the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write a second chapter continuing this? If so it'll jump the rating from Teen to Explicit for obvious reasons, but just curious if I should try writing porn again.
> 
> Un-beta'd.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so you all wanted a second chapter,but I don't think I'm very good at writing smut  
> however I've been told that practice makes perfect so let's see how this goes

Thorin shed his cloak and his tunic as well as tossing off his boots before joining Bilbo in bed. Before Thorin could kiss him again Bilbo placed his hands against his chest in small protest.

“I don’t want to get sugar on the sheets.”

“We’ll have them washed,” he replied mouthing along his neck.

Bilbo felt the heat of his mouth as much as he felt the scratchiness of his beard before pushing at his chest again. Thorin pulled away glaring and Bilbo glared back even crossing his arms to emphasize his point. In the end Thorin looked away first sighing loudly as he got off the bed. Before Bilbo could get one foot off the mattress he was lifted up bridal style and carried to their wash room. The hobbit huffed about being manhandled until he was set on the counter and watched as Thorin turned the faucet to fill the tub.

“You know it takes almost an hour for the tub to fill,” Bilbo said leaning back against his hands.

Thorin walked over to him placing his hands onto his knees as he said, “Then we shall have to kill some time.”

Bilbo cradled Thorin’s face in his hands before leaning down to give him a long slow kiss. His tongue darted out against thin lips before being sucked in making him gasp. Their tongues dragged against each other slow and Thorin groaned low in his throat. Bilbo still tasted of pastry cream and sugar glaze. Bilbo’s hands ran through the tresses of his hair, his grip tightening when Thorin’s hands moved to his waist massaging the pudge of his stomach. Bilbo squeaked against his lips when his trousers and small clothes were pulled off.

The dwarf pulled away from his sweet lips and started attacking his neck with nips and bits working his way down to his collar bone. Bilbo squirmed his thighs rubbing together as he tried to pull Thorin where he wanted him. Thorin ignored the hair pulling as he lapped lower down his chest until he took a nipple between his teeth. The hobbit hissed and arched as Thorin suckled and swirled his tongue until the bud was hard. The dwarf king did the same to the other nipple before continuing his descent down a soft round stomach until he stopped at thick honey brown curls of pubic hair.

Thorin spread his husband’s legs before taking him in hand. Bilbo’s cock wasn’t long, but it was thick, and Thorin found that it fit in his mouth perfectly just enough to stretch his lips and touch the back of his throat. They both groaned at the stimulation before Thorin began bobbing his head back and forth each time swallowing as the head of his cock his the back of his throat. Bilbo’s thighs were squeezing Thorin’s head as he trembled from the attention. He let out a strangled noise when Thorin swirled his tongue around the head dipping his tongue in the slit before taking him back down his throat.

Bilbo was laying back against the counter, the cold surface against his shoulder blades contradicting the wet heat on his dick. Thorin fondled his balls and let go of his cock with a wet pop before mouthing along his inner thighs. Thorin’s own length bobbed against his taught pants, and he reached down tugging the last of his clothing down until they dropped to his ankles. At this point he had mouthed down Bilbo’s leg sucking at the back of his knee before stepping out of his pants to kick them aside.

“What are you doing,” Biblo gasped.

He had managed to prop himself onto his elbows. Thorin took the dark red pallor of his face and his damp hair growling at the sight. His husband shivered and curled his toes.

Thorin took a quick glance at the tub seeing it was half filled before taking his prize over to the wide basin and stepping in the steaming water. Bilbo had managed to drape his arms around his neck pulling him down for another languid kiss. Thorin set him on the built in seat and noted that the water came up to his husband’s hips seated.

Leaning over him Bilbo took Thorin’s cock and stroked it a few times before taking him into his mouth. Thorin let out a garbled noise as the halfling hollowed his cheeks sucking along the head. Bilbo couldn’t fit him all in his mouth so he had a hand at the base where his mouth couldn’t reach. Unlike Thorin Bilbo was sure to keep his sucking deliberately slow adding long strokes of his tongue whenever he pulled back. Thorin’s hips bucked a few times before Bilbo gave his arse a light slap in reprimand.

As Thorin’s breath grew shaky and Bilbo’s jaw started to ache, the hobbit moved both his hands to settle on his arse massaging his cheeks as he sucked his cock. Thorin’s grip on the tile had his knuckles nearly white and his thighs shook from trying not to buck into that sloppy heat. His vision blurred for a moment when Bilbo pressed a wet finger against his hole. The ache in his balls grew hot and he placed his hand on his husband’s shoulders ushering him off.

Bilbo whined at the lost, the taste of pre cum on the back of his tongue until Thorin kissed him hard. He didn’t think he’d ever grow tired of kissing the dwarf. When his husband pulled away again Bilbo was about to be very cross with him until he saw him turn the faucet off. The water had reached up to his chest, and Thorin didn’t want to leave it on in fear of flooding the bathroom…again.

When he turned around Bilbo had ducked his head under the water. A few bubbles came up as he watched the blurred image of his husband scrubbing his hair until he came up for air again. Grabbing the soap from small cabinet they washed each other. Touches lingering, and soft kisses in between until their earlier passion died down to a warm ebbing in their loins. After rinsing themselves off, Thorin let the water drain and Bilbo dried their bodies with large towels.

“Are you satisfied now?” Thorin asked pulling them chest to chest.

“Yes,” he answered smugly.

Thorin made sure to lean down taking one of his lips between his teeth just to wipe that smugness from his face. Bilbo wrapped his arms around his neck and laughed as he was lifted once more, his legs around Thorin’s waist, as he was taken back into their bed chamber.

The king wasted no time uncorking the bottle from the nightstand pouring the sweet scented oil over his fingers. Bilbo lied against the pillows his legs spread wide and his fists caught in the sheets. Thorin wasted no time prepping him being sure to slow down or stop when Bilbo winced or let out an unpleasant sound from his kiss swollen lips.

By the time he got three fingers in pressing against the hobbit’s prostate Bilbo was grinding his hips down to meet against the intruding appendages. Pleas left his lips, and he nearly kicked Thorin in the chest when he pulled two of his fingers out teasing him with one.

Thorin chuckled and poured more of the oil into his hand coating his cock sighing at the sensation. He then grabbed himself at the base lining up with Bilbo’s hole and pushing in.

Cursing in Khudzul he put his other hand at Bilbo’s hip as he continued pressing in until he bottomed out. Bilbo was breathing heavily through his mouth, some drool running chin as his legs trembled with the feeling of being so full. Thorin grunted leaning down so Bilbo could place his hands onto his shoulders before he tried a short thrust.

Bilbo let out a weak shout and grabbed a hold of one of his braids tugging on it hard. Thorin took that as permission and started thrusting in earnest. At first the bed barely made a sound, but soon it creaked and shook with the actions being taken upon it. Thorin’s hands gripped Bilbo’s waist pulling him against his hips with each thrust he gave.

Bilbo’s mutterings and curses escalated into cries and begging as the ache in his balls grew. Globs of pre-cum dripped against his stomach as his prostate was grazed against. The stench of musk and sex quickly filling the air thrilled him as he took heady lungfuls just to keep from passing out. He was red from the tips of his ears to the collar of his neck and they were both covered in a thin sheet of sweat.

Bilbo could feel just as much as he heard Thorin’s sack slapping against his arse and it only got louder the harder he pushed back against him. His head was dizzy and Thorin’s face was pressed against his neck as he thrusted a few more times before freezing. Reaching between them Thorin grabbed a hold of Bilbo’s cock stroking him quickly and Bilbo bit against his shoulder as he came hard between their stomachs.

Thorin rolled over before falling onto the bed so as not to smother his husband. They both laid their panting until the chill of the room started to seep in, and they pulled the blankets up, cuddling to keep warm.

“Perhaps next time you bake you will not use so many odd substances to tease me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do not tell me you didn’t plan on getting covered in thick white desserts all day. Three times is too many for it to be coincidence.”

Bilbo’s eyebrows furrowed in thought before he looked back to Thorin his cheeks blazing red.

“Thorin you lecherous sod!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think. uwu
> 
> Un-Beta'd.


End file.
